Life..Mystic Ecstacy

Life is not easy..the more I go through it the more I begin to feel less is in my complete control. Again see, I say "complete" control, meaning I still want to believe that there is something atleast in my control. Even if it is partly so! It is hard to relinquish control and accept it as an eventuality.

But this is the irony of life. God creates this whole stage for us. He has a script in place and we act upon it. We have villains, we have heroes, we have sorrow, we have happiness, tragedy, comedy, boredom, fun, everything is woven into the play. It is evenly balanced too distributed across lives, ages and eons. But God makes us think we are the directors of the play..but are we? No one knows..maybe it is left to our improvisation, maybe it isnt. Maybe God has a fixed outcome he expects us to reach and he just tweaks us here and there directing us towards there. Or maybe there is no fixed outcome, but he just lets us wish what we want and help us achieve our wishes depending on our wants, needs and his own discretion. Or all these might be wrong! I dont know..But the irony also is that no matter what we have to continue living and go on with life.

Makes me think..what is the purpose of all this? Why do we do all this badidaata. Why is there so much competition, hatred, jealousy, spite, violence in this world? Why? Why? Why?

Why did I have to come all the way to this new country to be away from my comfort zone, my people, my family? What is the purpose of life at the end of the day? What is it that we look for?

The answer to this last question is simple..we all look for "happiness".

If all of us are looking for this one simple thing in life then why all this difference?

The only answer that comes to my mind is that everyones version of happiness is different. For someone it might mean staying at home and relaxing doing nothing forever. For someone it might mean amassing wealth and hoarding it away for generations to come. For someone else it might mean going out and helping few people out in the world and deriving some gratification out of it. It differs. Definitions vary. Means vary.

So what is right and what is wrong? I dont know..I dont think there is any "right" and "wrong" in this world. It is all subjective. Then why do human beings struggle the way they do? Why do people set out to "correct" the world? Well, that is their way to "happiness" I guess.

MAAYE....that is what all this is!!

I think that is why the Bhagvad Geeta says
"Karmanye vaadhikaaraste
Maa phaleshu kadaachana
Maa karmaphala heturbhuhu
Maa te sangostva karmani "

Another song that comes to mind is,
"Bombe aatavayya, ee brahmandavu aa devanaaduva bombe aatavayya"
"Ambujanaardhana antyavilladaatana tumbu maayeyayya, ee lokavu aa devanaaduva bombe aatavayya"

Has anyone ever thought where the world began? Where it will end? What is it that is outside our solar system..we have the Milky Way galaxy. Outside that, we have the universe..what outside the universe?? There should be something outside everything..then where does it all end???? Everything should have a beginning and an end..so where did all this begin? What was there before all this began? What will be when all this ends? Do we go round and round in loops and cycles over and over again? Have I been sitting here in this corner of the living room of my brother's place in SF typing the same thing a kazillion times before today?

Man..arent these scary thoughts? Well they are super scary to me!! I dont sit and think these thoughts daily..they come by occassionally to spook me out! Today they found their way to my blog..